Christmas Eve.

It's Christmas eve today.

Last year Christmas eve was a very beautiful day for me as I celebrated with him at the church where he grows up and made friends.
This year, I will not be able to celebrate with him anymore as we decided to go on a separate path in life.
But this year Christmas eve, will be a unforgettable and meaningful day as I will be attending a best friend's brother's funeral.
For a non christian like me, I remember Christmas eve used to be all about party, drinking, late night out, counting down in the city with strangers crowd. Seeing drunk fight, kisses on the street, and so on so forth.
I was so emotional when I got to know about the unfortunate news about her brother and I feel so useless for not being able to help. But then I realize that's nothing I can do except for paying my last respect.
This somehow got me into the mood of afraid of losing people around, it motivates so much to show my appreciation to my family, friends, colleagues, everyone.

I dont wanna be regret for not doing anything.

Anyway, merry christmas folks.

Motivation.

Welcoming 22 with a big and happy heart and never foresee what will I go through.

I'm going through a serious hard time
I lost motivations in in work. I starting to doubt myself, my beliefs, my religious.
Not relevant and I just don't know how I came across that.

I wasn't thinking about quitting my current job at all. Somehow, I just lost the motivation to work, I getting lazier. I don't care if shits gonna happened.
All I want is just a nice, chill holiday to do nothing at all, no house chores, no laptop.
On another note, I'm worrying about my future.
I can't stay where am I and not moving on. Yea, I probably get increment, promotion in between but would;t be what I enjoy to do anymore.
Or perhaps it;s just me losing the motivation at work.

About my religion.
I have a deep thought about this thing and has yet to open up to anyone about this thing.
I have been to church with bf for a few times and each time I went I felt deeply guilty as if like I have betrayed my religion, my family and myself.
For some moments I almost break into tears as I was extremely confused of what am I doing.
To clarify, I attend church at my own will, no force from bf.
When I made that decisions to attend church was because I'm trying to accept it as I don't want to have any conflict if by any chance we got married.
I thought I will be open to this and easily converted to become a christian and no... I could;t do it that easily.
It's seriously not easy for me. Don't know where to start...
I do accept it and don't ind if my children are christian. Guess it;s just myself....

I got so emotional for these.
Tons of shits to do.... I shall hit the sack already.

Bidding goodbye

It's been too long since I spend some time by myself here at home.
I like to called it a productive Sunday because I went for haircut, catchup with friend and did a little bit of work.

I had a good long Christmas holiday. Thanks to CEO for declaring Friday as holiday.
At the same time, I feel so shitty because of the tight timeline at work. Too many shits to be delivered just before the holiday.

Right now, I'm counting down till the day my boss came back from holiday... so I will be free from "managing" this account and also people.
Honestly, I'm not capable to manage all these... with that 1 year experience and very little knowledge. I felt so dumb, most of the time.
Anyway, it's just work I need to let it go, let it go...
3 more days to lesser stress at work and a new year, 2015.

A recap for 2014 before going into my resolutions:
It has been a very memorable year for me. I remembered my goals for 2014 was to be happy and become more than what I could be which I think I did. Did it well.
In the beginning of the year, I felt like a piece of shit with work and emotions.
Then I discovered people, money, time, places, myself and reality.
With all the effort I put in, I must be very lucky and thankful to get just what I deserve in return.
Love, friendship, recognition at work were the best appreciation and motivation I received.
I think the hard time I went through was a really good test. Sorry to be shameless but I do think I get smarter, realistic and acting more like an adult.

A sincere thank you to those who have always been around. Every good and bad have made me who am I today.

I'm preparing myself for the new year and to live it gracefully, here's my resolutions ;)
1. Learn how to cycle (Sorry for being a dumb city girl)
2. GET INCREMENT (I work very hard leh, I deserve it one :P)
3. Save money, monthly not yearly :(
4. Travel to Hong Kong! (this is like my dream place to be cause I grew up with HK drama and I really like to know how's the place like.)

That's it for now.

A reminder

Saying goodnight has become something so normal... simple... meaningless.... When people doing it
more often and no one appreciate it anymore.

To many people out there, it's a formality.

To me, it is a reminder.

Remind me I am loved by someone important. Remind me that I'm in their mind, the first one of the day and/or the last one in their day.
Nobody has take greeting seriously. You dont have to, but you can try to appreciate it more when people does.
It's so rare to have someone greeting you sincerely, cheerfully.

Greeting is so simple and it could just made someone day like that.
Dont consume your time, energy and money.

Maybe I should greet people more "Good Morning" also starting from tomorrow.
Now, good night everyone. Have a very good sleep :)

Here, this is the last person I say goodnight to with lots of love.