Motivation.

Welcoming 22 with a big and happy heart and never foresee what will I go through.

I'm going through a serious hard time
I lost motivations in in work. I starting to doubt myself, my beliefs, my religious.
Not relevant and I just don't know how I came across that.

I wasn't thinking about quitting my current job at all. Somehow, I just lost the motivation to work, I getting lazier. I don't care if shits gonna happened.
All I want is just a nice, chill holiday to do nothing at all, no house chores, no laptop.
On another note, I'm worrying about my future.
I can't stay where am I and not moving on. Yea, I probably get increment, promotion in between but would;t be what I enjoy to do anymore.
Or perhaps it;s just me losing the motivation at work.

About my religion.
I have a deep thought about this thing and has yet to open up to anyone about this thing.
I have been to church with bf for a few times and each time I went I felt deeply guilty as if like I have betrayed my religion, my family and myself.
For some moments I almost break into tears as I was extremely confused of what am I doing.
To clarify, I attend church at my own will, no force from bf.
When I made that decisions to attend church was because I'm trying to accept it as I don't want to have any conflict if by any chance we got married.
I thought I will be open to this and easily converted to become a christian and no... I could;t do it that easily.
It's seriously not easy for me. Don't know where to start...
I do accept it and don't ind if my children are christian. Guess it;s just myself....

I got so emotional for these.
Tons of shits to do.... I shall hit the sack already.