Living in my own world.

It is really hard to disagree with yourself when you always think that you have been correct all these times. So when people point out your mistakes, you will defend and say not my fault.

I am that kind of person, with flaws all over me, negative thinking and living in my own assumptions. It is kinda shitty to fight for something that you, ownself actually against with. I know what is wrong, I know I made mistakes but most of the time I "hope" I am not the wrong one. Finding all they ways to blame on others and getting back all the blame on myself in the end.

It is like a circle. Go round and round.

The best way to stop living this shitty life, digging deeper hole for negativity to live and lie to myself... I gotta step out from my own world. Abandoned all these bad thoughts from my mind. It has been bothering me all the time, I choose to ignore and even keep them (negativity) with me and defend if people trying to get me out.

When I am trying harder, harder and harder to stand for things that I know that is not right... This is the time I go to the extent of thinking to kill myself. It feels like you cannot control yourself, you can not make everyone believe yourself, you can not even think properly. Yea, it is very disturbing.

I have been holding my fists too tight. I cant let go any shit from myself, either good or bad. I even assume how people look at me, what they think about me.

I could not let go.


I could not breathe.

.
..
....

I need to get out of here. Get out of my shitty world.


Start to learn how to live and enjoy.

I am sorry life, I have been raping you for so many years. Taking off everything you deserve to get. I promise to give you back all those positive foods.


Thank you and I love you...

LIFE>