I am more grateful than I have been.

It's odd that the extremely sad feelings only starting to kick in after a month.

People can't stop telling me, it will be okay, time will heals, heavy work will distract you. 

No people, it all didnt work in every way you told me it would be. I still tear when people ask me, "are you single or in relationship?" "How's your boyfriend?" "What you got your boyfriend for valentine's day" and etc... Time pass and my love to him is still growing. I'm getting heavier and heavier workloads everyday and nothing has really stop me from thinking about him. 

Hence, I didn't really bother to "recover" from this break up. 

I questioned myself all the time, "Do I really love him that much?" "Am I really willing to wait for him and never settle down even he got married?" I worried that I cant do it. I cant wait for him until I die, I cant love him until I die. 

Then, I realize I should not control how am I going to be or what should I become in the future, its definitely beyond my control. 

As far as I know, I have experience angriness, sadness, fear, disappointment and also sufferings in this "break-up-process". It gets harder each and everyday but no matter how hard it is I still want to be the best for him. 

I guess I just become more grateful as I go through this heartbreaking stage. 

Looking at those people complaint about their the other half or flaunt their love story over the social make me realized how great was him as a boyfriend to me. 

Thank you for asking me to be your girlfriend.

Thank you for always being loyal to me.

Thank you for always being honest to me.

Thank you for always being a caring person to me.

Thank you for always taking the initiative to talk when problem occurred.

Thank you for always sharing your thoughts with me.

Thank you for always bringing me out to enjoy our time together.

Thank you for putting so much effort for our anniversary, birthday, christmas, valentines day, etc.

Thank you for always willing to travel 41 km back to back just to see me.

Thank you for willing to join every family gathering of mine even though there are language barriers.

Thank you for willing to join gathering with my friends even I bored you at all time.

Thank you for willing to look at my unglamorous face when I fell asleep.

Thank you for willing to download movie for us to watch when I requested for it.

Thank you for listening to all these times even though none are relating to you or interested you.

Thank you for accepting my stupidities when we have our casual talk.

Thank you for bringing me to supper when it's the middle of the night.

Thank you for drinking coffee with me even though you cant take too much caffeine.

Thank you for always advising me about life, human, assignments and everything.

Thank you for kissing me when I am feeling upset.

Thank you for holding my hand whenever we hang out.

Thank you for cuddling me during movie time. 

Thank you for trying to speak mandarin/cantonese even though you dont know how.

Thank you for welcoming me to your adventurous world.

Thank you for your unconditional love.

Thank you for giving me a chance to be this grateful and proud as your girlfriend. 

I am sincerely; truthfully grateful that we were once a couple and planned to live the rest of our live together.