Not really about work, but it is about working long hours in the day and getting all of you in my mind in the night.
I always thought to myself... Kins, this is gonna be over. I know it will, I just wonder when.
That's not partially why I'm awake at 3am. Secondly it is because of the frustration from work.
I've seen friends that started working (same age with me) have been complaining and whining a lot on the social media. I did that too just not as often as they did.
Most of the time, I have this tweet/status about how frustrated is my work and I thought I wanna share it with the world but I didnt have that time.
Work has been crazy. I can't describe but feel free to wear my shoes one day.
I have 15 mins for lunch each day, only 1 time for toilet limit to maximum 5 mins or else XXX (sorry I dont want to mention it here, in case I was found by anyone who related with my work) will be blaming and screwing me upside down for not responding.
I might be exaggerated for a little bit but that's how I feel, literally.
Getting not enough time for myself is terrible.
What worse is getting criticize.
Don't judge, I'm not that type that can't take criticism (depends who are the one that criticize also la).
Getting criticize for being fresh, young, youngest isn't what I deserve.
I'm young, youngest in the office. Fresh from the oven. I know nothing in this real-working industry. I know nothing about how to deal with frustrating and fuck up (I'm sorry but I just had to) people in my life.
I'm always willing to learn and also smiling to your criticism. I hope that's enough for your day already.
Young doesn't mean that I deserve all the random tantrum from anyone.
Being youngest doesn't mean that I'm stupid and not able to do things well.
I may not equipped with the best knowledge but that doesn't mean that I don't know any shits.
People at work can be really harsh sometimes.
I've hide in the toilet and cried after all these frustration, useless criticism and also .....
I was never a strong one, I just dont know how and why people perceive me as one.
That's really unfair. I cried for no reason at most times.
I am very very dependent, if there's anyone for me.
Just sometimes, I get so tired with this world. So much hate and negative thoughts.
No where to escape still, I gotta face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it, face it............
Face the fact I was dumped by the boy I love, because I wasn't the right girl he want but he is the right guy I wanted, dream for.
Face the fact that I love working is industry but I'm just too young and left college/uni too early.
Face the fact that the world is cruel, live on your own, always... always.... and always.
Well, I wasn't here to support all people at my age. Some of those that started working at this age can be so ignorant and over-confident.
HAHAHA. Some of these youngster that start working early actually think that they're smarter because they are the same thing/job as the older one.
That was just my own opinion. What's really happening to the friend around me was, she kinda scorn our friends that are still in uni. I know why.
We were quite jealous because we don't get that money for further studies.
We have quite low self-esteem and thought that scorning someone else would make us look smarter, "higher" ?
Whatever it is.
Life should be living a good life for yourself isn't it.
We just couldn't care too much about anything more than ourselves and get all tense up.
Song might be a little old but all its okay. The lyrics and feeling is right.
I hope all and everyone in the world can be kind and love more today.
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