Trust

I always have dilemma of trusting anyone.

I want to trust someone that I like and I'm happy with to be with but at the same time I will try not to trust this person. I know, you getting mind-fuck liao. I think this happen to everyone la not just me.

There is a chinese saying, The pig will climb a tree if the man can be trust. Dont understand? Just look at the picture..

Obviously, it means no man can be trust because no pig can climb tree. Sometimes I doubt things that my boyfriend told me. He will say something sweet to men when he is in the mood of telling me that and those are the times that I struggle to trust him or not. I know you heard/seen many people say that, A relationship won't work without trust.

I trust my boyfriend, I do but some times I choose not to trust every single words he says. Maybe trust not the "right" word to use here, it is more like I dont want to take things TOO seriously. I am really afraid that one day he will want/need/have to leave me. I am not a very clingy girlfriend but also not the type that easy to let go. Although I always imagine that myself being very calm and cool when my boyfriend wanna break up with me. In real life, I guess I will just burst in tears and start yelling at him.

Time over time, my boyfriend has always proof to me that my thoughts was wrong. He has gain all the trust from me. He dont usually say anything sweet to me. "I Love You" is like man going shopping.. very rare but they will still do it at the right time and place.

So today I told him I wanna get him something because he is going to UK and I said I will miss him so much. He replied, "You wont miss me one la.." That moment I felt like an Iphone drop from the table. So hard, so pain. This is the first time that someone make me feel like I cant be trust. Finally I understand how does it feels when you cant get trust from the one that you love.

I will give him all my trust from now on. Although I really dont want him to go UK but I will still give him all the support he needs. He will be in UK for one year, I know one year is just 12 months, not that long. But 12 months are torturing enough for me to miss him.

I hope nothing will change within the next 12 months when he is not here with me.

Anyway, I wish him all the best in his study.